Post-Race Blues: How to deal with depression after crossing the finish line

After more than 15 years of racing, I realize that crossing the finishing line is still not the final step in any athletic event. I have a post-race phase to move through before setting my sights on the next event.

After training and competing comes post-race depression.

For me, post race depression seeps into the downtime I’m supposed to enjoy between events. It’s that feeling of letdown after something big happens—much like returning from a vacation or actually getting a promotion that you worked hard for. It leaves me asking answerless questions like: What did that really mean? Did I do my best? Now what?

And what makes this kind of downer so intense is that we are in recovery mode. When we pull back the reins on exercise, perhaps taking several days off from our primary sport, our bodies miss the endorphin high. In a survey I conducted for Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom, I learned that many women (and men too) rely on the antidepressant effects of exercise. Take it away and many of us feel pretty hollow.

So what should you do?
1. For starters, if you know you are apt to feel depressed after a big event, listen to your body and recognize the triggers and patterns in your mood. You will eventually be able to step outside of the feeling and realize that mood doesn’t define you and the sadness will pass.

2. Keep positive energy alive by talking with others about the event and perhaps taking time to journal about your experience and reflect on your accomplishments. Acknowledge the magnitude of your efforts as well as your feelings surrounding them.

3. Eat a healthy and balanced diet. This is especially true if you participated in an endurance event that requires sugary supplements to keep you going. Gut rot may haunt you for a day or two, so be sure to consume healthy, whole foods to keep your spirits from bonking.

4. Get lots of sleep. Extra rest will help bring back your ability and desire to train hard again.

5. If you are feeling the effects of endorphin withdrawal (that is, you simply cannot fathom taking a few days off), commit to cross training in new or enjoyable ways. In order to allow your body time to recover, consider less strenuous exercise, like easy cycling, walking or relaxing laps in the pool.

6. While this may be a bit counterintuitive, do not schedule another big event right away.  Learn to enjoy the unstructured time in your life.  Your aim is to have longevity in your activity, and going from one big race to another is a prescription for burnout. 

Post-race blues are real, but thankfully they last only a short time. Follow these steps and the symptoms of situational depression (that’s the real terminology) won’t prevent you from basking in your post-race bliss!

Laurie Kocanda will complete her Master’s in Counseling Psychology in spring 2012 and is co-author of Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom. Despite her predictable post-race blues, she has completed over 40 marathons and ultramarathons.

This post recently appeared in Inside Dirt, an online publication distributed by Trail Runner magazine.

Rites of Passage

“You run marathons? Wow! Have you ever pooped your pants?” If I had a nickel for every time someone has asked me that… Seems like some people think uncontrolled bodily functions go hand-in-hand with long distance running. (Hint: They don’t! And I’ve never pooped myself on a run!)

I’m not immune to similar ignorance. For years I’ve watched other runners lose toenail after toenail (including my husband, who lost all 10 after running the Western States 100 miler!). Somehow, I saw this loss as a badge of honor, a mark of commitment to the sport. My internal dialogue kept reminding me, “You aren’t a true ultra runner until you lose a toenail.”

Well, after running the Voyageur 50 mile a few weeks ago I’ve had a sudden change of heart. I endured over ten hours of heat, humidity and hills. I had existential moments I thought came only with a Timothy Leary experiment. My husband has a pithy little saying he heard somewhere: “If you make friends with pain you will never be alone.” I suffered. I made friends with pain, and as it turns out, I got my wish granted. I am going to lose a toenail.

Now I would like to unfriend this particular insidious version of pain. It’s there constantly. I rub my toenail on the sheet and it hurts, I stubbed said toe on the dresser and it sent a scream out of my mouth that brought the whole family running into the room. I thought that draining it might reduce the pressure and make it feel better. It turns out that my Dr. Oz moment may have just got it infected. It’s not the glamorous party I thought it would be.

I gave birth to my two kids without drugs.  What I wouldn’t do for an epidural right now.
-Laurie

Why Run 50?

It was mile 25 and my daughter heard my plea: “I’m so tired. I just want to quit.” I was exhausted from four and a half hours of trail running in the Minnesota Northwoods and felt nauseous thinking about running the course again in reverse.

At 9 years old, Cady didn’t quite understand why, when I had just said I wanted to stop, I was about to turn around and head back. “Just stop, Mom.” Simple logic.
My husband, on the other hand, pulled me up out of the chair I’d just crumpled into and got me turned back toward the finish. “We’ll see you at the next aid station!” Somehow he’d tricked me into moving again.

The Minnesota Voyaguer Ultra is a 50-mile foot race on some of the most beautiful and rugged trails I’ve ever run. It’s rocky, rooty, hilly, and muddy with a few stream crossings, scramble-on-your hands-and-knees ascents, and slide-on-your-butt-descents. For the first 25 miles, it’s more fun than anything else. But at the turnaround it becomes a test of wills, an exercise in mental toughness.

So as I started to climb the trail out of the Duluth Zoo, I began thinking about why I was running this distance. What it was that was keeping me going. I came up with a few reasons that, even in my post-race return to sanity, sound pretty compelling:

 

My kids had fun, but the day was mine.

1. As a mom, there are few things I do that are JUST for me. This race, this weekend, was all about me. Like it or not, it’s something my kids need to experience. They need to see Mom as an individual, her own person with goals and aspirations. Hopefully it’s something they’ll remember (and replicate in their own way) when they have children of their own.
2. Self-confidence isn’t always easy to come by for me. Running 50 miles reminds me that I am worthy and capable of much more than I sometimes give myself credit for.
3. There is a sense of community I feel when running these races that is unmatched anywhere else. It’s not like a quick trip through a water stop during the marathon or 5K. It’s people taking the time to figure out what you need and get you back on your way. Each individual’s finish is really a group effort. I love that.
4. Trail runs are beautiful. There is a sense of peace when running in the woods that I don’t get anywhere else. Trail runs are the perfect excuse to run through mud, and splash through puddles and streams. I get to “wear” the beauty that surrounds me, and that is pretty cool.
5. I enjoy the solitude of the run. It’s fun to start out with a group of runners, but I really enjoy the alone time offered in the middle and late portions of a trail run when there isn’t anyone around me. It’s a great time to think, or as is sometimes required, to turn off my mind and just focus on what I’m doing.

As the day wore on and I got closer to the finish, I grew increasingly excited to see my husband and daughters at the aid stations along the way. My body was tired, but knowing they were waiting for me kept me moving at a steady shuffle. Maintaining that slow jog helped me catch and pass a number of runners, all of who offered enthusiastic words of encouragement.

Coming into an aid station, excited to see my hubby and the girls.

 I crossed the finish line with my daughters in 10:27:54 (6^th woman, 1^st masters woman). I’m a little sore, but feel much better than expected. Big thanks to my husband, Tony, who pushed food on me at each aid station (who knew potato chips on PB&J would taste so good!), and kept me going with salt, fluids and his amazing smile.

Crossing the finish line with my girls, who wouldn't hug me because I was too sweaty!

Family Friendly Runs

Trail runs offer a special kind of freedom to runners, and the kids who come out to cheer them on. My dance with dirt at the Afton 50K  Trail Run on Saturday was intense. With over 8,700 feet of ascending and descending, it wasn’t easy. But knowing my kids were out exploring and having fun meant I wasn’t worrying about them being bored or getting into trouble. And best of all, my kids didn’t just get to cross the finish line with me, they were dancing on it when I got there. My oldest even put the medal around my neck. After 6+ hours of running, it was the best finish line I could imagine!

What’s your favorite event for the family? What makes it so special for you or the other members of your clan?
-Laurie

Giveaway: Be happy in the (this) saddle

Friend or foe?

There is a special freedom found only on a bike. It’s one of those rare thrills we feel at every age and ability. Whether it’s your first wobbly ride off training wheels or your umpteenth century (100 mile) ride of the season, cycling makes us feel independent, strong and happy.

Except when it doesn’t.

For some of us, particularly women, climbing onto the saddle causes more than just a little discomfort “down there.” And until you find a saddle that fits just right (and take off your panties!), biking will never make you feel like a kid again. Instead, it will make you feel like you’ve just had one—right there on the bike.

I have vivid memories of a long ride with my husband back when were first married that resulted in him winning the Heisman Award for a good week. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pushed through the pain, fleshy one minute and boney the next. Didn’t matter how I sat, I was uncomfortable. Not strong. Not happy.

I went through a few saddles before I fell in love (or should I say, my crotch fell in love) with the Terry Butterfly Ti saddle. It’s lightweight and designed just for “her” by folks who specialize in ladies cycling. The guys like it too since it eliminates the Heisman phenomena–at least as it relates to the bike, anyway. (Come on, riding really shouldn’t be a pre-coital excuse!).

Having saddle issues? Got that “not so fresh feeling”? Just want to try something new? I wanna hear from Hot (Sweaty) Mamas like you about why you like to ride, or about your favorite two-wheeled adventure. I’ll draw one winner from the entrants here and at hotsweatymamas.com and post the winner on Friday. Good luck!
–Laurie

Running in Circles

My friend Greg once told me he likes to draw an imaginary circle around himself and every person with whom he has a relationship—his wife, kids, friends, co-workers (you get the idea). As often as he remembers, he takes a little inventory of his life to make sure he’s keeping all the right stuff inside each of those circles. He reminded me that everything we do within a given circle has the potential to strengthen the relationship therein. And sometimes when we leave things out of certain circles we ultimately make them weaker.

Thinking about all this made me realize how important health and fitness are to my overall wellbeing, not just my physical health. How they’ve helped me establish and deepen a number of relationships in my life. When my husband and I met, we shared a passion for the outdoors and a passion for running; and each year our marriage grows through some shared physical activity including these things (i.e., running the Grand Canyon, sailing trips, camping).

Many of my closest friends are also running partners, riding buddies or fellow gym rats. Those that don’t share my passion at least appear enthusiastic about my goals and accomplishments. And it’s okay if they’re just faking interest, to share a circle with me means to share my interests no matter what. And I share the things that make them tick, too (even when I don’t find them interesting).

I’ve had a couple of friendships that haven’t fared so well over the years; there have been times I’ve let fitness get in the way of a relationship by simply not sharing it with someone else. Greg got me thinking that maybe I can use my passion for fitness as a means to rekindle those old friendships, repair relationships that might need tending to or strengthen an already strong bond with a loved one. It even works with people who don’t quite “get it,” who don’t understand that it’s fun to work up a good stinky, sweat.

I can keep circles intact by sharing what it feels like to be me, and that doesn’t necessarily mean running a marathon (though it’s always nice to have some company). There are plenty of other options—a short walk with an aging parent, a leisurely bike ride with my kids, a lake swim with a friend who usually hits the beach for a tan. If fitness is a big part of your life, find some way to share it with those people who are most important to you. Let it bring you together instead of tear you apart.

We all know that good relationships can be the best, most challenging endurance events out there. And as a mom, having a good support network is a sanity saver. So when you think the finish line is in sight, loop back and keep going. Sometimes running (or walking, biking, swimming, etc.) in circles can be a very good thing. 

An active lifestyle keeps me physically and mentally fit, better able to handle the demands of motherhood. How about you? Does fitness keep you strong in more ways than one?

How Much is Enough?

Spring cleaning... Which ones do I keep?

In the twelve years my husband and I have owned our home, we’ve toyed with the idea of moving into a bigger house quite a bit. While it would be nice to have a little more space, we’re confident a bigger home would not translate into less clutter. Staying in our current home has required constant examination of what we need versus what we have.


We try to teach our kids that more isn’t better by suggesting they donate the things they are no longer interested in.  For the most part it has worked (with the exception of the brothel of Barbies bursting out of the toy bin across the room from me). At five, our youngest doesn’t quite get it yet. But our oldest (who will turn nine next week) seems to understand. She actually agreed to a nice gift from Mom and Dad instead of having presents at her party.

Accumulate less. Donate more.

Over the years I’ve gotten better at eliminating excess, too. I finally got rid of my wedding shoes and I no longer hold on to every piece of artwork my kids create. I’ve recovered from my need to keep every cotton race finisher’s shirt; a problem solved by creating a quilt (who knew I could be crafty?).

I’ve learned to live leaner, except when it comes to my running shirts. There are too many to reasonable wear in any one season. I'll admit to some odd emotional attachment. There's the shirt I wore running the Grand Canyon, the one from the first marathon my parents came to see, my very first long sleeved wicking shirt. I’m not sure why I keep them all; I still pick my favorites when I hit the gym or lace up for a run.

I know someone who makes sure her kids have only enough seasonally appropriate clothes to get them through a week. Kept her laundry to a minimum and the clutter down. Not sure I can go that far, but I’m looking for an ideal number. Enough to cover a weeks worth of runs and workouts? Only my favorites? What do you do?