Sunday, May 30, 2010

Changing Things Up

My friend Kara recently posted something on her blog about her arms. Guess she's had lots of people comment on them lately... myself included. Truth be told, I'm a bit green about her bod right now. My recent bought with the dark side certainly hasn't done anything great for my now 40-year-old body.

So, I took her suggestion and gave my local Crossfit a visit on Saturday morning. The fact that I can still feel the aftermath of the abuse three days later tells me something about my fitness. Interestingly enough, I hurt more and longer than I did after running the Eau Claire marathon a couple of weeks ago on what amounts to no training.

Run for three hours and 45 min. and feel nothing. Try something new for less than 30 min. and feel like I've been run over by a mac truck. Speaks to adaptation. It's the same reason you can find aerobics instructors who teach classes all day long, but don't look like it. Eventually you get diminishing returns when you do the same thing day after day.

My oldest is interested in rock climbing, something I haven't done much of since having kids. (Funny how something once really important can quickly diminish in significance upon the birth of our children!) So I'm hoping to put that back into my lineup, too.

Working on my summer schedule now and I plan to make it full of different activities. Because just like my kids, my body evidently gets bored and stubborn doing the same thing day after day. Guess it's time to look at camps and such now too... Any ideas for something totally unique?

Friday, May 28, 2010

No More "Just in Case"

It’s been a full year since I last updated this blog. I’m not sure I recognize the kids sleeping in the jogger up above. In fact, I sold the jogger about a month ago to a couple that came into the running store with their kids. I pimped my phone number on them and felt like I was in high school again when they called back (I was sure they thought I was a cool kid). Actually getting rid of our double, however, was semi-traumatic. Even though it had been a long time since I’d had the courage to run behind it, I felt some sort of comfort knowing it was out in the garage… just in case.

The treadmill in our basement is like that too. I can count on two hands how many times its been used in the past year… but it’s still there, just in case.

The false-dreams I perpetuate by keeping things like these are probably pretty commonplace. But, really, how likely is my eight-year-old to stuff herself into a jogger when she can be out on her bike alongside me instead? Do I really want her in there anyway? Isn’t my four-year-old more likely to figure out the workings of our treadmill than I am to run on it?

Truth be told, just in case, has been my motto for the past year. And it’s not been a good place. Living for the just in case has meant not living in the present. Instead, it’s meant worrying about the future, fretting over the past. It’s meant doing whatever I can to numb out those (normal) feelings of present-moment frustration I get as a mom and as a person. Living for the just in case translated into taking more naps than I needed, drinking more wine than I should have, and making more trips to the store than necessary. It’s meant me being someone who I don’t really identify with anymore.

I’ve been reading a couple of great books lately (Buddhist-based) that are getting me back on track. They’re lifting my just in case mentality and replacing it with a better understanding of self (When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron and Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn). Really, something we all can use.

I’ve kept up my fitness, but somehow forgotten to let it keep me in the present—the best place to parent. There are some wonderful things on the horizon. Each day, I’m trying to let go of that just in case attitude a little bit more because there is no question about this moment we’re living. It’s here.